It hit me out of the blue last night. I was in my room, my peaceful time for the day, the only time I can call mine. When ALL HELL broke out in the Living room.
The boys were fighting and not listening to her, it was so bad, I can't believe she spanked both of them, took William's Lego's away till today (only she relented to 1 hour, but William said no you said 1 day and did not touch them).
And it hit me like a ton of bricks, she does not want to parent unless it is on her terms. I know her job is stressful and she has a lot of responsibility thrust on her being a single parent. But when she comes home from work, she wants to play with the boys for about a 1/2 hour and then wants to be on the computer the rest of the night or watching TV in her room cause the boys have the TV on in the living room watching movies.
So the boys raise Hell to get her attention! I don't mean to say they are perfect for me, no they are special little boys who require a lot of attention. But I spend most of the day being available to them, and that is the difference. Why does she think that is all she has to do?
Maybe because I worked around my kids hours until Misty was in kindergarten, I did all kinds of jobs from day caring for 13 kids, to waiting tables at Marie Callendar's. But I was there for them always.
I did not start nursing school till Misty was in Kindergarten, 2nd half and worked 40 hours a week. I supported us alone. And the evening's were my time for the kids. I helped with homework, played with them and read every night.
I always put them first, even when I had a stroke in my 2nd year of school. ( I was so driven to finish school with my degree I only missed 10 days of school).
But she does not get it. I wish she would wake up! Don't you think when the boys call me Mama instead of PopPop she misses the clue there? Well I just wanted to tell you that the lightening bolt finally it. Not that I will do anything about it. The boys are my life! I just hope the Lord keeps me alive till I finish this job of raising them.